


What Are You Waiting For?

by Liliace



Series: Spiderpool & Deadman [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: (sort of at least), Deadpool Thought Boxes, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Wade Wilson, Spideypool - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:38:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7398967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliace/pseuds/Liliace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade was finally going to ask Spidey out.</p><p>-</p><p>Title comes from the song "Love Me Like You Do" because of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzYHSFQXs74">this</a> lovely Spideypool music video.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Are You Waiting For?

**Author's Note:**

> Hullo, friends! First I'd like to mention that I'm not awfully familiar with Deadpool's thought boxes, but I hope I managed to write them at least adequately.
> 
> Secondly, this was a birthday present for my lovely [friend](http://wanderingteacup.tumblr.com/), who graciously gave me permission to post it here.
> 
> Thirdly, there's a second part to this that I'll post soon, whenever I have the time (holy shit my summer is busy).

{We don't stand a chance.}

(I know.)

[There's no way.]

( _I know_.)

{Then why do you even bother?}

(I don't know.)

Really, Wade had no idea what he thought he was doing. Sure, he and Spidey had been getting along lately, and Spidey had even eaten snacks with him during quiet moments. Rooftop tacos and burritos and chimichangas were a part of their routine by this point.

But none of that meant that Spidey actually liked him. Sure, he hadn't been completely disgusted by Wade's ugly mug – or if he had, he hid it well – but it wasn't like Spidey _liked_ him. Putting up with him was different than any actual affection or caring or liking.

{Then you know that this is a bad idea. Like, a really awful one.}

[Is possibly getting laid by Spidey worth most likely losing his friendship? Wait, yes it is. Keep going.]

{There is no 'possibly'. There is zero chance it's happening.}

(I. _Know_.)

There was really no way. Well, maybe a tiny, infinitesimal chance, if they were in one of the right universes.

[Didn't know you knew such big words.]

"I don't. Stop being a dick," Wade muttered aloud.

But that tiny chance was enough for him. Spidey hadn't reacted negatively to his flirting, and had only punched him once – which he totally deserved because groping other people's asses without their permission was a big no-no. Wade was blaming Yellow for that.

[Hey! Just because I tell you to do things doesn't mean you have to do them.]

{He's right, you know. You never listen to us anyway.}

Wade hated it when they ganged up on him.

Anyway, the point was that he hadn't done anything like that after that one time. Apparently Spidey drew the line at actual sexual touches, so Wade never did those again. Flirting was fine, though, because those never gained reactions beyond sighs and flat jokes.

Sometimes those jokes even involved flirting back, which, yeah Spidey flirted with them! So obviously there was a tiny infinitesimal chance there.

{Deadpanned 'sweetheart' doesn't count as flirting.}

Fuck, the voices were messing with him. Did they have to be against everything he did? He'd have thought that they'd be overjoyed at the idea of asking Spidey out.

{Not when that will result in Spidey ditching us completely.}

"You don't know that," Wade muttered sullenly. There was a chance, and he was going to take it.

[Yeah! And Spidey is too nice and heroic to ditch us just because we loooooove him.]

{… That's the first good point you've made about this entire thing.}

Oh, lookie. They were both on his side now! That certainly meant that this was a brilliant idea!

Or a really bad one. Doing something the boxes and he were in agreement on resulted in something stupidly great or greatly stupid. Usually, the latter.

But Wade had made up his mind about this. He wasn't going to back down because of some doubts; not like the bazillion times he had before.

So here they were, hunting for Spidey. Well, they did that most nights these days (heh) but this time they had plans beyond eating and hanging out together. Though hopefully both of those things would be involved after he had completed said plan.

It didn't take long for them to find Spidey. Wade figured that Spidey didn't even try to hide from him anymore.

"Deadpool," Spidey greeted cordially as Wade sat down next to him.

Both their legs were tangling over the rooftop, and Wade was pretty sure that Spidey was listening for any sounds of distress. It was early morning by then, anyway, so clearly Spidey had stopped actively patrolling – Wade had timed this just right.

"Baby boy," Wade greeted cheerfully.

{You sure about this?}

[Do it! Do it do it do it do it!]

"Uh, so," he started awkwardly. "We were wondering – I mean I, I was wondering – if, well, you see –"

{Great job. Reminding him that there's more than one person in this head is certainly going to make him want to date us.}

[Don't mess this up! Tell him we love him!]

Fuck, the boxes were messing with his mind. He couldn't focus properly and when he glanced at Spidey, he noticed that Spidey was listening intently to him.

"So," Wade started again. "You're awesome and brilliant and funny and you laugh at my jokes and eat with me so I don't think you're completely repulsed by me and you're kinda super cool, like even cooler than Captain America and Cap is like, the ultimate cool, so we kinda – I, I kinda was wondering if maybe possibly you'd like to go out with me?"

There was silence. Both in his head and from Spidey, and Wade cringed. Fuck.

{Great job.}

[Noooo you scared him!]

"Uh," Spidey said, which wasn't the immediate rejection Wade had feared. "I – Are you joking?"

Wade blinked. That would be an easy way out, no pressure, he could pretend and everything would go back to normal, he wouldn't have to worry about a thing –

[No no no no no! Tell him the truth!]

{It's gonna fuck us up but we shouldn't lie to Spidey.}

Fuck. The boxes were in agreement again.

"No," Wade said. "Totally not joking, totally not being platonic in any kind of way, although being bros with you is like super awesome and the best, well not best because the best would be dating you, which is kinda what we're asking now, because there's a chance this is that kind of a universe and it would just be super cool – like, imagine the team ups and everything."

{We already team up with Spidey.}

[Just tell him you love him!]

"No, I can't say that," Wade whispered furiously.

[Yes you can! He's gonna feel bad and then agree and then we can win him over with our awesome personality –]

"He already knows what personality I have!" Wade exclaimed helplessly.

{Talking to voices. Even better than calling yourself a 'we'.}

"He also knows that I have you two stuck in my head," Wade muttered sullenly. Which was true enough; he had told Spidey almost everything about it on their fourth or fifth taco rooftop not-date.

"Uh," Spidey said, interrupting Wade's thoughts and his argument with the boxes. "Yeah, I do know those things."

{See? No hope.}

[You told us to do this!]

"Right," Wade chuckled nervously and started to get up. "Yes you do, the boxes are just being ridiculous today, I should probably go now –"

"Wait!" Spidey exclaimed, grabbing hold of Deadpool's arm.

{What?}

[Yes yes yes yes yes!]

"Uhm," Wade said intelligently, glancing at the hand holding his forearm and then at Spidey's face.

"You were –" Spidey started, then shook his head and began again. "You never gave me a chance to respond."

{Why prolong the torture?}

[Shut up, there's a chance here!]

"I figured you'd say no, I mean, if you were going to say yes, you'd have jumped my bones already which obviously hasn't happened, so you're going to say no and I thought I'd save you the trouble and just, uh, leave so you won't have to feel bad," Wade said, babbling away.

"Deadpool," Spidey interrupted before Wade could carry on for too long. "I don't… You're not awful, and I kinda like you. I've never considered… I thought you were always joking."

[Us? Joking about having sex with Petey? Blasphemy!]

(Who's Petey?)

[Oh right. You don't know yet. Spoilers.]

"I wasn't," Wade shrugged uncomfortably. "Except for those really creepy times: I swear I'm not actually into necrophilia, that was totally a joke – and that time when –"

{For the love of god, shut up.}

"Yeah," Spidey said loudly, interrupting Wade's tangent once again. "I figured that now. But – can I think about this?"

(…)

[…]

{…}

[Think about this? Oh, Spidey, you can have all the time in the world just for not saying no!]

"I, uh, yeah, absolutely!" Wade nodded enthusiastically.

{Ask him to go on a trial run.}

[Oh, yeah! Sweet idea, even if he then says no, we'll have had at least one date with Spidey!]

"Could you think it over on a date?" Wade asked quickly, before Spidey had a chance to leave and go home and think it over and decide that Wade wasn't worth the trouble.

Spidey chuckled and shook his head. "I need to wrap my mind around this first. But, how about we meet here again, tomorrow night? You bring the food since you asked me out."

Wade nodded so hard he was momentarily worried that his head was going to fall off. But no, he hadn't had his neck severed in a while.

"Yeah, okay, that sounds totally awesome. Same time, same place?"

{Smooth.}

"Yes," Spidey said before standing up. "Though maybe you could come by a little earlier? I waited about half an hour for you to show up."

Wade was frozen in shock as Spidey leaped away, shooting a web to catch himself.

Spidey had been waiting for them?

[Woohoooo! I told you, I told you!]

{We might get a piece of that ass after all. Just don't fuck it up.}

Wade jumped up and whooped in delight; he even did a little victory dance. The boxes couldn't dampen his spirit right now. Spidey had waited for them, so obviously he wanted their company, and Spidey had agreed to go on a date with them!

Damn, this was the best night ever!

[We need to look our best for the date, quick, go pick a dress to wear.]

{Maybe just a tie would suffice…}

"Has Spidey seen me in a dress before?" Wade asked thoughtfully. Well, it didn't really matter anyway. He was going to look his best for his date with Spidey!

Wow. Maybe it was one of those universes after all.


End file.
